Cousins, we have cousins?

That sad statement was asked with awe by my kids today.

Yes, in fact they have cousins. Four of them whose ages range from 3 to 9 live within 5 to 10 miles of us. To say they don't see them often is obvious in the fact that they didn't know they existed. Once I told them who their cousins were, they remembered. Unfortunately, they usually see them for birthdays and Christmas.

Today, it happened that my great-niece was having a birthday party. And I only knew because my sister (her grandmother) asked if I was going to the party last night. A party I had no idea about (which is typical). But none-the-less, we went. And it was mainly because my sister received a package in the mail belonging to my husband. She lives half a state away, so since she would be in the area, we decided to go to the party and get the package. The party, like most others for family members, lasted about 45 minutes. Yeah, enough time for cake and ice cream, opening presents and a pinata.

Growing up, my niece, the mother of the birthday girl and I were very close. She is just 2 years my junior, so we grew up the best of friends. She was my closest relative. Her mother (my sister, whom I am now close to) was more an adult figure than sibling. My niece and I played together all the time. We had sleepovers, campouts and danced together. Sadly we grew apart in our teens. She blamed my Husband, I blamed her's. In reality, we chose different paths and friends in life that the other didn't approve of.

I hate that my kids are growing up not knowing their cousins, so for every birthday or cook-out invite we get, I make an attempt to go. I am usually the only family member who goes, and thus the only one making an attempt. About five years ago, I made the effort to initiate a Christmas Eve gathering with the whole family. To some, you'd think I asked them to have a kidney removed. Still, to this day, I am adamant that it happen. Even if I need to go with half my family (the last two years, someone has come down with something, making it necessary to me to go as part a family.

For every party we have, we invite the family. Two of my older sisters are always there, along with older brother. My younger sister, who pouts and throws a hissy fit when no one goes to her parties, has never once set foot at a birthday party for any of my children. My other older sister, occasionally stops by, but not usually. Of all my siblings, she is the one I am least close to. My niece, with her two children, will come if her Husband is out of town with the National Guard. My mom and most of the time, Dad will come. My in-laws are always there, for every thing. Even the kid parties. But there is just the two of them. Husband is an only child and they live a mile away, so the girls get plenty of attention for them.

Today, big brother asked me "why did you have him (younger sister's husband) do some work for you" (he removed bags of leaves from my yard for me). This is a task I've asked time and time again (my brother, my uncle, my dad) if they could please help me out with. I've even called outside contractors. Some who either wanted me to sell a kid for them to do it and others who verbally agreed to the job, only to repeatedly stand me up. Younger Sister's Husband volunteered for the task last week. I told him this week what days would work well for me. And the task is done. He didn't ask for payment and did a great job in a timely manner. He may not be someone many people in the family agree with, but at least he's willing to help out. I felt put out that I had to defend my decision to allow him to help me. But that's just how my family works. Well I'm done picking sides.

Most of the time, I feel like I am grasping at straws trying to keep everyone together (I have five siblings and it seems like most are on the outs with others). I know that if my Mom wasn't around, that those straws would blow away faster than a dandelion on a windy day. My siblings would walk away without looking back. Many times, I ask myself why. Why am I putting myself through the hassle. No one else makes an effort, why should I. But the answer is, for them. I want my girls to know where they came from. I want them to know who their relatives are. I don't want them to pass one another by on the street as strangers.

So. Not. Cool

I woke up this morning. Got the kids ready for the day. Walked outside to bring daughter to school. And saw this.




So. Not. Cool.

Yes, that is my van. Covered in bird shit. And not a little bird shit, alot of crap. Those birds I enjoyed listening to at 5 am after Husband left for work are now at the top of my shit list.

Change

Today I decided on change. I went and got my hair trimmed and highlights.

Here's what it looks like:

The front

The side/back

Moe's comment when she saw me:

I don't like your hair that way. What did you do to it? The color is yucky. And I don't like the "twirls finger"*

Meenie's comment:

Next time I get my hair cut, can they make it red?

And Einey's comment:

Um it looks longer.

*Note, I've always had curly hair, some days it just looks better than others.

Tales of a Soccer Mom....

You know what I hate? People who cannot seem to get their head screwed on straight enough to do things they are supposed to do!

I'm on a board, currently serving as VP (a position I was nominated for, not one I ever really thought about). Now if you know me, I will generally volunteer to take on anything. And I will do my best to get things done. The Pres. of the board is a woman who likes to do things right away her way. So this board (and the first I've been on which does things this was) has a monthly meeting each month where they present things to the group. Only the board doesn't meet beforehand to discuss things. The board finds out about the said discussions the same time everyone else does. I've brought it up, but apparently no one (i.e. the Pres) doesn't see this as an issue.

Now I agreed to do a certain job, and the Pres. mentioned the location was secured, but she'd double check on a specific time for a specific section. Fast forward a month and I go to double check - "we'll I never checked, YOU"ll have to do that". Well Thanks a FREAKING lot, you could have told me that a month ago!

It's not the first time this has happened and for some reason, it keeps getting assumed that I'll do other duties that were never asked of me (I find out fro ma friend who happens to be on those committees that yeah, I'm supposed to be checking things for a different event). WTF? The other event is conveniently scheduled for Father's Day because apparently, in this male dominated group, the Pres. didn't see anything wrong with it on that day. I mean who doesn't want to spend Father's Day at a specific event? Apparently me. But you know, my opinion doesn't count.

Guess I need to go back to school to learn how to be a mindless-zombie-follower-who-is-not-allowed-to-you-know-have-a-brain-that-works!

Here's to hoping someone contests my spot at the end of the season!

Random Bits

I mentioned in my last post about my drive for perfectionism. It makes me cringe inside when the girls are disappointed when they don't score goals in soccer, score 105 in spelling tests or rip an art project because "it's not perfect". I hate hearing them say "I can't do it, it's not right". I hate it because I know how it feels when you try your hardest and you don't live up to your expectations. So I usually try and calm them down and say "It doesn't matter if you score a goal or three, as long as you try your hardest and you're having fun".

I think it's getting through to them because one day, Eieny came home from school with a smile and said "did you know if I get an 80 on my spelling test, I still pass?" {Big Smile} "Um, well yes, and that's great IF it's the best you can do. You've shown us your best and your best is better than an 80".

What I didn't tell you in my last post is that Husband has some anal quirks himself. Being a painter, color is big for him. For me, I look and see green, where as he see's goblin green and moss green and about 100 other colors of green. Seriously, I go with him for complementary colors when painting the house and other such things. Also, with colors, things have to be arranged as such. He has been know to take out every single crayon in a box and arrange them by color. the same goes for packets of kool-aid, lolli-pops and other such items. His paints are in perfect order and I dare not touch them. (Although I think he does it now more to bug me - but then I will also mix things up to bug him). So I cringed a little when Einey came home from school and said "I took out all my crayons (I had to send a new box in this week) and put all the blue's together and all the orange's together and all the red's together..."

They're screwed, aren't they?

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Speaking of soccer, Einey whines and complains when it's practice time. Often she's found laying on the ground during practice. But games? Those are a different thing all together. Two games ago, she scored 2 goals and her last game, she scored 3. She's been so happy. Unfortunately, she's made it her goal to beat her goal count each game making her a tad to much of a ball-hog.

She's also been banged around quite a bit this season. She was sporting a cleat shape bruise on her thigh for a while. It's finally almost gone and then last night, she took a ball to the knee (kicked from the biggest player at close range - you could hear the thwack!). And then a kick to the elbow. She was crying about "how the boys play to rough". Yup Einey, that's why the separate boy and girls next season.

Of course, I told her, part of childhood is getting bruised and battered. That you're not living it right if you don't break a bone or two growing up. That getting down and dirty is the best way to experience life. And above all, that it's all part of being adventurous. They'll probably have more fun than if they walked through life carefully and cautiously.

And I have come to decide that being a youth soccer coach (or any coach) is probably the hardest job ever. I've seen what they put their coaches through (the team, not just the girls) and there are many times that I feel for them. but you know what, even on the toughest days they are always smiling (even if it hurts!) and seeming to enjoy themselves.

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I learned something new today. Meenie has this odd habit (or so I thought - it's actually fairly common). When she's deep in concentration, she sticks her tongue out. It bugs the crap out of me (I'm not sure why, but it does), but I don't think others really notice. I only noticed because during the winter, she kept getting chapped lips and a chapped chin. At first I thought it was from the cold, but I couldn't understand why it was just one area. So I started watching. And when she's concentrating, she sticks her tongue out. And so, ends up with a small chapped area on her face, just below her lip. Apparently it has to do with the hemisphere in your brain in which you process motor input. By sticking out your tongue, your suspending motor activity and making it easier to concentrating. It eliminates interference. And also, it's speculated that it's why adults bite their lips when concentrating. Apparently kids get used to being told, stick your tongue back in, that over time, they bite their lips.

So all in all, it's normal and now I don't have to worry about asking her doctor about it or asking for her to be evaluated by an occupational therapist. It also makes sense that we started to notice it when she started school, since she's working on learning so many new things now.

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And in other news, we have grass! It's actually growing. I know it will be a long process as we will probably need to re-seed a few times and hit it with something to eliminate weeds yet saves the grass. but it's a start and I'm happy!

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This morning, I left Meenie and Moe at home with Husband while I brought Einey to school. School is right around the corner, so I knew I wouldn't be gone long. When i returned home, I went upstairs to shut the door so Husband could have some quiet while he slept. I had to stifle a laugh when I saw what the girls had done. Husband fell asleep and they quietly stacked the bed with stuffed animals for him.

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I've got a new review blog. Check out my first review of The Rice Krispie online site.

Ten More Things About Me

Along time ago - well maybe not that long, but long enough, FOM from Fairly Odd Mother reached out and touched me for this meme.

Here are the VIR (very important rules):

· Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog.

· Share five random and/or weird facts about yourself on your blog. Then, share the five top places on your “want to see or want to see again” list.

· Tag a minimum of five random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs. Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment in their blog.

So, here we go:

Random and/or Weird Facts about Whirlwind:

1. I am the first person in my immediate family (Husband excluded) who has not only gone to college, but graduated with a degree. That degree, however, really isn’t helping me right now.

2. I am a mommy. Sounds obvious, right? But I am a mommy in the sense that my kids come first. Most of our activities and schedules revolve around them. That’s not to say that I put my Husband behind them (I don’t) but we try to schedule around them. It does, however, mean that I will never have a career. Sure, I’ll have a job at some point (once Moe is in school sometime) but it’s not going to be one of those soul-stealing, married to your job type deals. It will be one where I can be there for my kids when they need me and so I won’t have to rely on other to raise my kids. (sorry if that sounds to sancti-mommy-ish).

3. I was (still am?) a tom-boy. I had more male friends because I couldn’t relate to the girls (I didn’t care about clothes, hair, make-up and giggling at boys). It was easier to have real friendships with boys than superficial friendships with other females. Now as an adult, I have many female friends. It’s easier once you get past high school!

4. I have dimples in my shoulders. They are kind of unique. My dad has them and so does Moe. I’ve had plenty of people comment on them.

5. I tend to over analyze things which cause me to have mild panic attacks. It’s part of some unconscious drive for perfectionism. It’s what drove me to be a straight A student all through school. It wasn’t until after I graduated college that I realized I don’t have to be perfect. I can fuck up and the world will not end. I try to show the girls that yes, I make mistakes and that as long as they try their hardest we will be proud of them.

Places I'd like to visit/revisit:

1. St. Thomas. We went there on our honeymoon almost 9.5 years ago. It was everything I expected and then some. White sand beaches, incredible banana daiquiris (seriously, nothing can compare!), and incredible scenery. A trip to nearby St. John’s for some time on some private beaches is a great escape.

2. Hawaii. It’s one place I’ve always wanted to visit.

3. England. I’ve always been intrigued by the countryside and of course, Stonehenge! And of course, I’d love to visit London. “Look big Ben. Look Big Ben. Look Big Ben.”

4. Australia. Everything about it interests me. I’d love to spend a few weeks there. Of course, the plane ride’s a killer!

5. Belize. A friend sent me a link to a place in Belize the visited and it looks amazing. Ruins, rain forest, beaches. What more can you ask for?

Now. . .who to tag, who to tag?
Jane @ Pinks and Blue Girls, Stimey @ Stimeyland, WhyMommy @ ToddlaerPlanet, Karen @ Needs New Batteries and that's it. What, that's only four? Didn't you read that I'm giving up trying to be perfect.

And for those of you new here, be sure to look at 5 other things about me (and about the girls) Coincidentally, the girls parts are still pretty much all still relevant today.

She can talk the talk, but walk the walk?

Ask Moe about any animal and she can give you an answer. She just loves animals. Cows, walrus's and owl's round out her top three. With Horses being a close fourth. So Tuesday, Meenie's pre-school class was taking a trip to a (not so local) farm for the morning. Moe and I decided to meet the class there.

We pulled in and Moe exclaimed "is this the field trip?". After we paid our admission and waited for the class to come in, Moe and I checked out some farm kittens in a cage. Finally, the class entered. They were going to take a hay ride, but we've been there and done that. I just knew if I took Moe, when we got to the part where the really big bulls with really big horns came up to the tractor and started to eat the hay out from under you, she would FREAK. So we skipped and wandered into the animal area first.

Now this place has a fenced in area where you walk around. In this area, there are separated cages (color coded) where you can feed and pet animals. There are also random sheep, goats and chickens wandering around. At first, we approched the baby cows. They were only a few days to weeks old. Moe stopped and backed away, choosing to crouch down and peer at them fro ma safe distance away.

Okay not what I expected. We walked to the other gate and went in by the bulls. Moe quickly grabbed my hand (the one on the far side of the bulls) and peered around me. She quickly pulled me passed. And then stopped. The first of many animals approached us. It was a baby goat. Much smaller than she was. She slowly made her way to the other side of me. And so, as we walked passed the animals, she quietly went to the far side of my body, away from the animals. After a few minutes, I finally got her to feed one of the baby goats. But she wanted nothing to do with the bigger animals in the cages.

As we were watching the ostriches, the hay ride returned. We met up with the rest of the group and I guess Moe felt that safety in numbers was a good thing. When following the bigger kids, Moe easily went into the cages (the one's we were allowed to of course) to get up close and more personal with them. She even combed one of the sheep. She didn't stay in as long as the bigger kids, choosing to stand on the outside watching in, but she wasn't afraid.

Meenie had a blast, but wanted to ride a pony. I reminded her that her party is coming up in a few weeks and that she wanted the pony rides for that. So she agreed to wait. She also insisted on riding home with one of her friends instead of me even though we left at the same time. Ah, independence is a good thing.

The picture of cuteness until they open their mouths

Last week Einey went to a birthday party. It was the first time I allowed her to ride with another friend while I stayed home. I'm beginning to think it may have been a bad idea. That night, she came home and sang a new song. Not one we approve of and we discussed it and told her we didn't want to hear it again.

Flash forward two days.

Einey is on a field trip with school, they went to the aquarium. It's a beautiful sunny 70 degree day. The three girls (Einey and two friends) are sitting at a table with their chaperone, a friend of ours, having a snack. The tables surrounding them are filled with various families. The girls are dressed in their red gym shorts, white polo tee shirts, and sneakers. Their school name is proudly written on their clothes. They are supposed to be representing their school and showing how well behaved they are.

Cue the music.

Yankee Doodle went to town
riding on a heater
accidentally turned it on
and burnt his little wiener

All three girls started singing. People turned to listen to them. They sang loud and clear. My friend's mouth dropped open and she turned beet red. She was totally shocked at the words that came out of their mouths. Apparently the birthday girl has an older brother. He taught it to her and she taught it to them.

All I can say is glad I wasn't there.