Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Whon-Horns and other small tales

The origins of Whon-Horns

Once upon a time, there was a little girl who liked Whon-Horns. It took her parents many moons to figure out just what a whon-horn was. They even took her to the speech therapists because they suspected a problem with her language development. It turns out her speech was fine, she just wasn't supposed to be able to pronounce whon-horns right. Then one day, in the magical toy store, there standing in front of the little girl was a whon-horn. It was then that her parents were able to finally understand that she liked unicorns. Day in and day out, she would carry her whon-horn around and quickly, her siblings adapted to the new found pronunciation of their sisters favorite toy. Now as the little girl grew, she was finally able to pronounce unicorn right. The only problem is her sisters still call it a whon-horn, thus confusing the poor little child. The end.

Puppy Dog Tales

Once there was a puppy with dry skin. She itched and itched and chewed until her owners couldn't stand it anymore. They called the pet groomer and took the cute puppy dog for a trip. The puppy tolerated the bathing and drying and brushing and then found a nice giant bone. That is, after trying to drink the water from the fish tank. Now she weighs about 10 pounds less, left the groomer pretty hairy and has a nice shiny coat and big new bone. The end.

Color Kids Phase

Do you remember the color kids? I had forgotten about the color kid phase until just recently. The color kid phase hits around two and a half to three years old. You'll know your in it when your child wants to wear one color and one color only. Even her "undies" have to match. And your up the creek without a paddle you if you don't have a specific color shoe or coat.

Lessons in Fairness

Einey: "It's not fair, I have four pages of homework and everyone else in my class only has two"

Mom: "Well, if you remembered to bring your homework home yesterday, you wouldn't have had that problem".

Dad: " Yesterday you had no homework and everyone else had two pages".

Einey: "It's still not fair."

Mom: "Life's not fair"

Mardi Gras

It's the beginning of the Catholic season of Lent. And prior to Ash Wednesday is Fat Tuesday. Yesterday Einey came home from school with a set of Mardi Gras beads. They were given to all the kids from the cafeteria ladies. (Throughout the year, they'll come home with trinkets - stickers, chalk, jump ropes, batons, ect given to each child at lunch from the cafeteria ladies). Husband turns to me and says "I don't want to know what she had to do to get those"....

Four little words for you

Airborne is your friend.

and finally, I'll leave you with what I believe is the grossest thing I ever had to say.


To Moe.

"Did you just lick the side of my van?" "Uh-huh"

Yuck double yuck. Do they make disinfection wipes for the mouth? Keep in mind, I live in New England, it's winter, my van hasn't been washed in months (although I've tried a few times, but it seems like when the weather warms up, the car washes are always broken, or not accepting credit cards), and there is all manner of sand and salt and who knows what stuck to the side. Yuck!

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