Tales from the Super Slacker

Lately, there hasn't been much to write about. And after a long, cold winter, I've been doing what many other New Englanders have been and spending time outside. Alot of it. Gardening, hiking, playing baseball (definitely not my girl's sport), soccer, and eating ice cream. Unfortunately, not swimming yet, although the girls ask every day if we can. Unfortunately, I've neglected my blog.

So here's some shorts, heard around the 'hood recently.

In the car:
Moe: ...blah, blah, and we have babies in our bellies.
Me, interrupting: Um, who has a baby in their belly.
Einey: We all do, only right now their eggs. Once we get bigger, they'll grow into babies. Thanks Mrs. Second Grade teacher for teaching anatomy this month (which is the second big class project the Einey finished before anyone else - super hard ass parents!).

On the soccer field:
The kids introducing themselves the first night.
Moe: Mommy Whirlwind
All kids staring at her, that's not your name!
Coach B (laughing): That's not your name, who are you?

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Soccer Trainer from England: We're going to play the stop light game, do you know the colors of the stop lights? ... Yup, red, yellow and green.
Funny Kid: Wait, you forgot blue.
Soccer Trainer from England: What's blue for, I'm not familiar with that one?
Funny Kid: It means to pull over.
Me to Coach B: I wonder if that's from experience?

Poor guy was sad that we all laughed.

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Funny Kid: I've got my super shoes on, I can run really fast.

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Funny Kid: Coach, can you stand back up (when I knelt down)? The sun is in my eyes!

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Funny Kid: Wait, this is too hard, I don't know that, I'm only five! (he's one of the oldest kids on the team).

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Funny Kid (In TJ Maxx after our first game): I had fun, I was the best kid out there.
His mom: Not that he actually stayed on the field.
Me: Yes, Yes you were.
Einey as we walked away: You know, I really like him, he's very funny.
Me: yes, yes he is.

It's going to be a great season, I can already tell. I'm sure we'll get plenty of more laughs out of him! I guess it balances out the kid who hates every game we play and HAS to have a specific ball or he runs of the field pouting.

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Soccer Trainer from England: Okay, I saw some kids using their hands.
Group of 20 kids: I didn't.
Soccer Trainer from England: You know these (holding up hands) are called hands right?
Group of 20 kids: Yup.
Soccer Trainer from England: And none of them used them?
Group of 20 kids: Nope.

The funny thing is, I was watching the girl who grabbed the soccer ball like a football and ran like a defensive linebacker through the field with it answer that she didn't touch it with her hands.

In the house:
Me: Why is the bathroom floor all wet?
Moe: "Cuz there was an ant in it.
Me: That doesn't explain why the floor is soaked.
Me: Spies watter gun in sink
Me: Did you, by any chance, happen to fill up the water gun to shoot the ant?
Moe: Yup.
Me: Ey yi yi.

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In other news, we're T-7 days until Eieny's First Communion and I am awaiting to get her dress back from the cleaners on Monday. We had a bit of a mishap when getting formal pictures done and I pray the cleaners can work magic, do voodoo whatever it takes to get it cleaned in time!

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And since I have the night to myself (the girls and daddy are at the daddy-daughter/mother-son dance) I'm gonna hurry up and clean and hang around on Facebook and then go relax.

What's insanely funny is Einey's comment.

Einey (reading over my shoulder - I hate that!): You don't have any more wine?!!!!!!!!!!! Oh no, what are you gonna do? You can't be serious.

Dude, I'm not much of a drinker, but apparently my kids think otherwise.

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And since I want to know what your doing, tell me what the weather's like this weekend and what your doing! For us, it hit almost 90 today! And we spent the day at the soccer field (and one kid when to the zoo, another a birthday party). Tomorrow, we plan on hiking since Husband goes back to work Thursday. He's been home since April 9th and amazingly, I'm not sick of him. We've been having a blast (and getting things done around here)!