Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Random Bits

Dear Coopertone,

Your spray on sunblock sucks. Specifically, this one. This is the second time I’ve used it and someone ended up with a splotched sunburn. You know, where there was coverage in little droplets, despite a very generous spray and respray. And the second bottle I have? It won’t spray. I don’t know if it’s got a blockage or something, but it’s never been used and is broke, so I had to chuck it. I think I’ll go back to my Hawaiian Tropic sunblock. We’ve never gotten burned by them.

Sincerely, Whirlwind

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Dear Swim Instructor,

I get you wanting to move Meenie back a level – she barely passed last year by the skin of her teeth. But Einey? I don’t get it. You said so yourself, she has the form, just not the strength. However, she can swim the distance needed to pass into the level she should be in. To drop her down a level (where there are 5 other kids) so she can gain some “strength” doesn’t jive. She’s not going to gain strength sitting on the beach while taking turns knowing what she already knows how to do. It would be much better IMO, to let her be in the level she should be at (after all, she did pass and spent two weeks working on that level last summer) which only has one other child in it. Sure, her strokes are a bit better, but that’s what you are there to teach her. Right? She’s a 40 pound (soaking wet) six year old, what do you expect? She’s obviously super strong, but she’s pretty damn good for her age. We'll be talking more in the morning.

Sincerely, Whirlwind

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Dear Town Rec. Department,

We’re through. I hate your inconsistencies. I hate your overpriced activities. I hate that I just wasted $50 for you to teach my kid what she already knows.

Sincerely, Whirlwind

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Dear Facebook,

WTF’s up with Scraboulous? I was in the middle of a game and you yanked it. WTF?

Sincerely, Whirlwind

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Dear Husband’s Employer,

You have personnel issues. You seriously need to hire more people. Calling people in on their vacation to cover other people's vacation is not cool. Telling Husband you may or may not need him to cover a certain Sunday in August (but you’ll let him know, sometime) is not cool. We’re having a party that day. A back to school party. So Husband’s not coming in. He’s busy. Oh and that Tuesday? He’s already committed to cooking at the meet and great the teacher’s event at the school. Oh and P.S. he’s on vacation, or didn’t you look at that?

Sincerely, Whirlwind

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Dear Second Grade Teacher,

Could you please send out the supply list? There is 29 days left to school starts and all the stores have already had there bargains on the supplies. I’d like to know a little bit in advance what I need to buy. I’ve already got kindergarten covered, and from what I remember of preschool last year, there are only 2-3 things on that list – all that I can pick up at the last moment. But seriously, please send the darn list. Thank you!

Sincerely, Whirlwind

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Dear Soccer President,

If you are going to put me on the ad of who to call for more soccer information, please let me know the registration dates. I keep telling everyone this Thursday and Saturday are the last sign up dates, yet I just saw an ad saying Saturday was the last date. As far as I can see, this Thursday is still a Thursday in July so someone should be there, right? Right? If not, there will be a lot of people calling to ask WTF you are, since I told them to go Thursday night. Oh and when I email asking, it would be nice of you to email me back.

Sincerely, Whirlwind

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Dear Husband’s Friend,

No Husband cannot come out and play everyday he has off. And yes, while I don’t mind you coming over here for hours on end, just remember, Husband has responsibilities. We love you and all…

Sincerely, Whirlwind

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Dear Blogger,

WTF's up with the formatting? I don't need all the extra spaces between paragraph's.

Sincerely, Whirlwind


12 comments:

"Addy" said...

This is a great blog idea! I have to tell you, I use Coppertone Continuous Spray and have never had a problem. Is it possible the batch was defective ro something?

I especially love the Blogger/Formatting letter. Now I know I'm not the only one wit that problem!

SciFi Dad said...

At the risk of sounding like an old man, when I went to school (and I think it is still that way up here) we didn't get supply lists until the first day back (day after Labour Day). You get mail from teachers in summer?!?

And re: swimming lessons? When I was a kid, they never kept track from year to year, so every time we signed up (at the same place) they did "an assessment". It didn't matter if I had the badge or not, they put me where they put me. One year I had to repeat the same level as last year, with my younger sister; the next I was two levels ahead, skipping courses!

Whirlwind said...

Addy - I've seen this idea around before.

Sci-Fi Dad - Yes, we get the supply list ahead of time. Since it's a private school, it's usually pretty lengthy. In fact, for kindergarten, they break it up into 4 sections to bring in so that the kids can actually carry it!

As for the swimming lessons - I would be fine if that was the level she's at. She's not. She is at the higher level. And that's why I'm upset.

rebelmom said...

Well...
I was gonna ask you if you wanted a coffee in case you are working tonight at you know where...but I think you deserve a beer instead.
BTW, I will put pics up of our coppertone disaster from the beach as well...
PS I have the same probs with spacing!

Jennifer said...

and I was pondering making it a weekly theme at my blog.
I'm surprized you don't have the lists, I got one in June and the other in early july for supplies.

Whirlwind said...

Rebelmom - I don't think they would allow us beers there. Yes, Husband and I are both in the food booth tonight (he's also there other nights as well). Good, I'm glad I'm not the only person with problems. Everyone else seems to have no issues with it. I even had one person ask "well did you shake it first?". Um, duh!

Jennifer - We got one list the last day of school, one we'll get the first day (preschool - it's only one or two things though) and I don't know where the other list is. No one has gotten one yet.

catnip said...

I had the same problem with my coppertone spray. I had a horrible patchy sunburn.

Facebook was forced to pull Scrabulous by Hasbro. They threatened to sue and they put up their own Scrabble application.

Whirlwind said...

Catnip - Now that you mention it, I remember reading that about Scrabulous.

And like I said, glad to know I'm not the only one with that problem.

Anonymous said...

Love your venting ....But wouldn't it be more helpful to vent to the actual people :D

Juicebox Mom said...

Love your letters, I need to get cracking on mine. I will definitely be stealing your Salutation of WTF. Sometimes it's necessary. I'm already picturing it: WTF UPS man, Thanks for the laugh today

Jenifer said...

Love it!

I especially sympathize with the school supply thing.... I wish for me it was just supplies. The school has yet to even tell me if Paige will be in morning or afternoon session of preschool!! Nothing like having to wait until the last minute to be sure childcare is in place!!!!!

UGH.

Mimi aka pz5wjj said...

Oh this is classic! I sooooo sympathize with the husband's employer thing!

My DH... no raises this year because they didn't make their numbers -- but last year all the "big guns" got huge bonuses and we were thrilled to be one of the few who received a 1% pay rise -- woo f'in' hoo!

Next, employer knocks back the health insurance and raises prices... next, Oh, by the way, we're getting rid of the 401k program so we can be more competitive in the market place... oh, and one final thing... the client has decided not to renew our contract so who knows what will be in a year....

And he gets called on vacations and weekends too -- when his parents are visiting from England... we have our 10 year anniversary/belated honeymoon trip coming up in 3 weeks... he's made it perfectly clear he is not available and would rather leave the company than miss the vacation...