Three Years Ago...

Three years ago I was scared. And tired. And hungry. But mostly scared. I didn't know how we'd do it - me, you, your dad, and your sisters - then 15 m and 33 m. All three of you under three years old. Neither of your sisters were potty trained so that meant diapers x3. We let you sleep in our room - we had an old cradle in there but you preferred to sleep in my arms instead.

Little by little, we made it. We figured out what worked for us and stuck with it. In no time at all, I was able to get all of you out of the house. I kept a backpack with all essentials in the car - diapers, extra clothes, ect - and a box of snacks under the seat. That meant it was less I had to grab on our way out of the door. People asked how I did it or if you were all mine. They commented on how relaxed I looked and how carefree your sisters were. And also how well behaved you all seemed (even if I thought differently).

You were so different from your sisters and still are - that's part of what I love about you - your uniqueness.

This past year has been one of ups and downs for both of us. You had (and still have) some aggression issues. I had some anxiety issues. Both are improving, but we take it one day at a time. I would love to be able to tell you that it's not okay to use your body to hurt other people (and I do) but it's taken more than that. Now you can play on some days without incident. Others not so good. You try to reason with me when something happens "but I didn't hurt the baby, I was nice to the baby" (the older sibling, not so nice). The other day I wrote about a new you. Two days later you hit your friend with a shovel.

Now that your sisters are both in school (at least part time,
a few days a week), I am able to spend time with you and only you. And I can't tell you how much I've missed that. You are a different child when you aren't trying to compete for my attention. Your happy, your a chatterbox and above all we can "talk" without interruptions. I feel that I've missed things (with you and your sisters) by not having that one on one time. But to see the bond you guys have, makes all my guilt disappear.

To read more about Moe, click here or at the tag that says Moe below the post.

And be sure to read the post below about our "Rules for Three".