Saturday, August 09, 2008

At the end...

Lately, it feels like I am at the end of my rope when it comes to Moe. Many times, I forget that she's only three (she's one month shy of her fourth birthday). The way she usually plays with her sisters, she acts much older. Her vocabulary is way beyond her three years (although her articulation isn't all there - I've had her checked and probably will again in the fall, but they say she's right on track). Yet there are things she can't do or doesn't know that put her right on level (or slightly below) that of her peers. The almost daily temper tantrums have made me step back and realize that she's still young. She's still only three.

Like I said, I usually think of her as being much older than her three years. But not this week. This week, I just don't know. She's started pinching (her sisters, Husband, me). Just this morning, she pinched Einey Because "she was touching me" and whacked Meenie with a wooden flagpole (why Husband left it under a couch???) because "she was touching my pants". When I asked her if that was acceptable behavior she told me know. When I asked her what we do, she told me, you ask them not to. So she gets it. But she doesn't act it. She spent alot of time sitting in the corner this morning.

This afternoon, she was hungry. Hungry because she didn't finish her break fest. So I made her a sandwich for lunch (after debating between pb&J and bologna and cheese). I gave her what she wanted, but somehow the dog ended up with it. Then she wanted an orange. Which once \peeled and cut, she didn't want. She knows that's not acceptable - that she cannot ask for food and then not eat it. So I made her wait. And she cried, "I'm hungry". And I made her sit. And wait. Finally, I let her have some blueberries and whipped cream. Where I found a bowl of blueberries but no cream "I'm not hungry anymore". So I sat her down, and hand feed her blueberries, while she was telling me "I'm not hungry". If I didn't, I would hear all afternoon "I'm hungry". Even when she eats (which she normally does), she's always hungry.

In just over a month, she starts school. And sometimes, I wonder if she's ready. I wonder if she has the maturity to be in a classroom for three hours, three days a week. Will she just get what she wants (she's not afraid to just take what she wants, when given no for an answer). Will she climb cabinets to get what she wants. Will she pinch or be mean to other people? Will she cut her hair (again? Will she listen? Will she spend time with the principle? Will they call me to get her early? I just don't know with her.

I hate that I have a hard time getting through to her. Her sisters, although both have had their issues and rough patches, were never this difficult, this stubborn, this independent. I just wish I knew how to handle her. I wish I knew what to do.


Karen said...

I found with my younger acting middle child that school is like magic. A room full of peers cured him of many ills -things I considered to be more toddler behavior than preschooler. He was four in June. We're still working through it, but he rarely has trouble at school - which actually makes me wonder...but anyway, enjoy the time she is in school to recharge and take care of yourself. I doubt she'll be at the principle or that you'll get a call. Sometimes they just need the extra social pressure of a school environment to grow up that little extra bit.

Jenifer said...

To answer your question from your comment..... Paige is a lot like Moe.

She is smart, can already write her name, do some basic math, and has a wonderful vocabulary..... but when it comes to social skills like listening, sharing, and cooperation.... I'm a little worried too about her starting school this fall.

I think it might be normal for that age....exasperating, but normal. She also apends a lot of time in the "naughty spot". Mostly for being bossy and mean to her younger brother, and for not listening to me. She really is caring at heart, she just sometimes has a hard time when things don't go her way.

I am hoping that preschool will help her learn some social skills and help her share.

Fairly Odd Mother said...

That is a tough age. I get a lot of attitude from my son, and he does hit when he's mad which sucks. He knows what is right and wrong, but doesn't have the vocabulary or maturity to act on it in the right way. Hang in there---it does seem like a phase.

Anonymous said...

Have you had her tested for attention deficit ? My one child had it but not my other . My sisters son had it .it is rare in girls but if family members have it It is possible ...At any rate they are usually advanced in learning and remember alot , Just only what they want to ..they are not always hyperactive either , some just have extreme emotion , Happy x2 Sad x3 Angry x4 If you get what i mean , Schools may want you to have her checked for it If the behavior stays on in the school environment But whatever you do if they want to medicate ....I say ask for alternitives ..Medication is good for many things but alot of the meds for things like ADD or ADHD are good at first but can and DO cause MAJOR SIDE EFFECTS as they get older Please look into NON MED ALTERNITIVES ..But no fear this may be just a phase My son without ADD went through many BITTING , STICKING OUT THE TOUNGE , things like that.. He enjoyed school and was a different little boy there ...And over time he stopped :) chin up SAHM It will be just fine with Moe

Shannon said...

My middle child is like that. A-lot of times I have thrown my parenting ideals out the window with her. Like you, sometimes I just don't know what to do. She is so independent and feisty!

Sorry I have no advise for you - just letting you know your not alone.

buddha_girl said...

I'm a teacher - and she sounds COMPLETELY normal for a preschooler/kindergarten kid.

Our kids act out so much more at home than at school. Preschool teachers understand that kids are coming from various backgrounds and levels of expectations, and the kids modify their behaviors once they manage to notice the norm - usually the FIRST day of school.

Lots of times, the kids who try parents at home the most are the angels in the classroom. I've had to bear witness to this phenomenon on many occasions to many a dumbfounded parent.

You're a good mom. For real.